Finally getting up the nerve to call Jennifer to ask her out on a date,
except that her name is Susan.
Locking your keys in the car while it is still running.
Getting halfway to work, shaving while you drive because you are running late,
and suddenly realizing that it is Memorial Day.
Putting your clothes in the dryer before you wash them.
Showing up three hours late to your own wedding.
Going to a job interview, and struggling to show up well dressed, with a spare résumé,
at the right time, on the right floor, in the wrong building.
Procrastinating going to a One-Day Sale.
Saying “I love you” at the end of a voice mail to your boss.
Driving around all night looking for a 24-hour post office so you can mail last year’s taxes to the IRS.
Having to clean your home before the cleaning service arrives, as they will put everything away, including the stuff you leave out intentionally so you will not lose it.
Working on stuff around your home, going outside to get something out of the car, and noticing that the trunk is open from when you carried the bag of groceries in,
two hours ago.
Raining: no umbrella. Umbrella: not raining.
Having to call someone on their cell phone for directions while you are following them in your car.
Finally remembering to go buy batteries for a device you threw away last year.
The absolute joy in discovering for the first time the contents of a box you packed.
After a few years, people have no problem with you saying, “It slipped my mind,”
even when talking about things like staff meetings, paying bills, meals, and wearing pants.
The whole, “Look, a chicken” thing is funnier every time.